10. Coming ready or not

The waiting is over I'm actually admitted and in the final stage of prepping for tomorrow.

It was was hard to believe when I woke this morning but I had actually had the best sleep I have had all week. Slept solid with no sign of the busy brain that has plagued me all week. It was a great start to the day and definitely put me in a good frame of mind.

I had planned to go to the gym early and get in a final walk and say good bye to my friends there. But after looking out the window I quickly realised that the only place I wanted to be was at Trigg beach, out in the open air, taking in all it had to offer. I have always felt energised after walking the ocean path, but today's walk offered not only perfect conditions, but had an amazing calming effect on me as well. After my walk I sat on the bench looking out at our magnificent Indian Ocean, enjoying the fresh breeze and listening to Van Morrison. Let me tell you there's no drug available that can give you that kind of high. I spent 15 minutes filling my lungs with the sea air and consciously storing mental pictures of that magnificent view. They will be a valuable motivator when I need a reminder of what I can look forward too when I am healed.

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I decided I could not pass up the opportunity to give Carol the blueberries when I arrived at the hospital. She was certainly looking quite bewildered when I gave her a gift wrapped box that gave no idea of the gift inside. She called me in my room shortly after to thank me, but also told me it was just as well it wasn't chocolates as she would have not taken them if they were! Did she soften.well she volunteered my surgery time, which in the past she had withheld, so I guess I had a minor win. Funily enough I have met a lovely lady in here who coincidentally was offered one of my past cancellation dates but declined, and tonight we've been comparing "Carol stories." They are very similar to mine, so at least she's consistent!

Well the nurse has just been around to outline the morning procedure. For the first time a felt slightly anxious but apart from that I have been surprisingly calm. I have decided to take the sleeping pill, not so much to medicate myself but to hopefully block out the snoring coming from the other bed in my room. It's harder to sleep in a hospital bed than it is to sleep on a cramped red eye plane flight with a baby in the next seat that's for certain.

Tomorrow morning I will be woken to shower with the disinfectant washstand 4.30 am and then the process of meds will start. Apparently it takes 1 hour to anesthetize me, and surgery will be about 9am. I've already had my arms and public area shaved. You'll be pleased to know I had no chest hair, so avoided a clipping there. I've also taken a photo of my naked chest as a momento of the first 55 years of my life. The next time I see it I'll be a member of the "zipper club," a heart surgery survivor, and a person who can say that with this journey has come a new outlook on what the real priorities in life really are.

So it's off to sleep I hope so I'm ready for the day ahead. Thanks everyone for your feedback so far. I'm too bloody tired to check this post for typos so hope it reads alright.

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Posted in Personal Development Post Date 05/06/2019


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